Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Difference Between Men & Women    
 (In My Opinion)

I know that by writing this article I might have a lot of women hating me, and saying that I’m full of crap.  Some might think I’m betraying my own sex. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming to be an expert, therapist, or guru on relationships.  But I have been a BIG observer in my lifetime, and after seeing so many friends, relatives and even strangers go through their love troubles, I often ask myself why are women (including myself) so freaking dumb? I have come to this conclusion about the difference between men and women.

Do you ever hear a guy say about a woman he is with, “I’m gonna change her”? No of course not. That’s because men don’t have the same chip installed in their system that a woman does.  Men don’t think about a woman having a steady job, or a good bank account. At least it’s not in their natural nature.  That’s because they are meant to be the provider and “man” of the relationship. They don’t try and change us. Hell they don’t even really voice themselves on what they would like to see a woman wear. If only they did there would be so many more women in this world actually dressed well! 
Back to my point, why if a woman is attracted to a man and likes who he is, would she feel the need to change him? Say boy meets girl, boy and girl develop a relationship and somewhere down the line he realizes he doesn’t belong in a relationship at all.  Why does the woman feel the need to change his mind? Didn’t she hear him the first time?  Why do women deceive themselves into believing that men are like them?  Let’s get it through our brains ladies, MEN ARE WIRED COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

For instance if you wanna be one of those women who get married, have kids etc, go find yourself a good guy who is at least over 35.  You’re clock might tick at a certain age for kids but guys can reproduce much later in life.  Men are naturally born to be hunters. Does an animal who hunts for prey ever stops hunting? No.  Why are we beating up guys and pressuring them into something when they don’t want it?  Since men are the caretakers by nature, it’s very common for them to have a big guilt complex attached to their personality. They might stay in a relationship a lot longer than they wanted to because they feel guilty. Perhaps the woman is financially struggling or they live together, or have family issues, maybe even bouts with depression.  Generally unless the guy is just a total douche he will stick with it out of guilt. NOT because he loves and cares about that woman, but simply because he wants to get a good night sleep and if he up and leaves he might have too many sleepless nights. But let’s not fool ourselves. Men are HUNTERS and they want to go and hunt their prey. Once they have devoured them, they are on the hunt for the next one. Not until later in their lives when they have experienced many different options, are they really ready to “settle down” so to speak with one woman.  I mean don’t you wonder why the phrase “the old ball and chain” has been around like FOREVER? Don’t you wonder why in a moment of anger or frustration a guy confesses he feels “trapped”, wants to be “free” etc? I’ve learned with not just men but most people in general that what comes out in those moments of extreme emotions is often hidden truth. Majority of people aren’t upfront and honest with how they really feel so for the general passive aggressive sometimes it takes a good argument to vent how they really feel.

In my everyday life I love to people watch. I will see so many times women get pissed of or offended if their man looks at another woman. Now granted I’ll want to slap the dude if he’s just a gawker or makes it extremely obvious that he’s looking, but otherwise ladies come on!  This kind of behavior is wired into them!  It’s an instinct since birth. Even little boys can be enthralled by a pretty woman walking by them.
So would you try and work a machine without reading the manual first? Of course not. As women we have no problem reading the manual, asking for directions and so on. So if that’s the case then I’m saying to you, learn how a man works before you get involved with them. You will save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy and emotions if you do.
If anything, we are the douche bags in these situations.  We throw guilt trips on them, bitch and complain about things, over analyze stupid situations and blow them out of proportion.
That’s not to forget one of our biggest downfalls. If a guy is quiet and seems mad or upset, LEAVE HIM ALONE.  Guys process stress and anger differently than women. We go and blab it out, going over and over all the details and beating the hell out of the subject.  Guys just want to cool off and get over it. They want to escape either into the computer, TV, video game, or fixing up their old car. Escaping is what de stresses a man, not talking about his feelings and problems. They will talk when they are ready.  We only make things worse pushing the issues and asking them what’s wrong. Why is that? Because a lot of the time we feel it has something to do with us. "What did I do wrong?" "Is he mad at me?" Nine out of ten times I can tell you its not us.  But we sure do make it about us don’t we? If we just listened the first time when he says , “I’m good I just want to be alone or quiet”, we could avoid all those late night arguments or stupid mental torture we put ourselves through trying to figure it out. If we were truly unselfish beings we would listen to what he’s asking and do it. But no, we push in and prod and beat the living daylights out of him till he ends up blowing up at us and saying things he doesn’t really mean. (Or does he?)  

I didn’t say relationships were easy or uncomplicated. And I’m definitely not saying we are completely wrong in every situation when it comes to guys. To this very day I still make the same mistakes and follow my natural female instincts of being a nag, bitch and downright selfish. It’s not easy, but we can’t continue to put all the blame on the men and not take any responsibility.

Just remember whether it be with men, women, friends, family , or anyone, always take a step back from the situation and try to see it from their perspective. If you want to be a human being that evolves and progress instead of continuing in your own dysfunctions, then don’t be self consumed and realize instead how YOU are acting, as opposed to always thinking about what YOU are feeling.

Thanks for reading and please comment and leave your own opinion on the matter!


  1. I was with you until "To this very day I still make the same mistakes and follow my natural female instincts of being a nag, bitch and downright selfish."

    Of course, both genders can be nags, 'bitches' and downright selfish, I don't think those are natural female instincts as you say. But overall, good post. I'd like to see more :)

    1. I have yet to meet a guy that is a nag, and yes of course everyone can be selfish. But women are called nags for a reason lol. Thanks for reading !!